As a young girl, you have no idea what awaits you. Not so much about the course of your life, but especially about what hormones can do to you. Those hormonal fluctuations are different for everyone—and thankfully so. I’m now 58 years old and I recently feel like I’ve left the toughest times behind me. And I can honestly say that I feel better and more comfortable in my own skin than ever before.
What I really missed back then was guidance and support during my first hormonal phase: the start of my period, which for me started when I was eleven. It was a huge taboo back then. As an eleven-year-old, you have no idea what hormones do to you, how they can throw you completely off balance and let you down at crucial moments. Yet it was always dismissed with: “Oh, don’t be so dramatic.”
In my prime, I easily had a week of PMS, followed by my period itself and then the usual after-effects. Just do the math: three out of four weeks a month I felt sick, or at the very least, not myself. And all the while, that nagging feeling that you weren’t allowed to talk about it and that you never really felt confident in your own body.
The same was true for menopause, which started for me when I was 41—also early. But then again, I was probably always a bit precocious, both as a child and later. Here too, I had no idea what to expect. My mother had a hard time during menopause, but she had surgery around the age of 40 to remove everything. That was a completely different story, but there was hardly any support or explanation then either.
I still sometimes sigh around 11:32 a.m. that I’m finally feeling good. Although my morning mood, which I’ve had since childhood, has returned in full force. So, it’s best not to talk to me before 11 a.m.
What I perhaps regret most of all is that I’ve had so little support and guidance—both in my youth and in my adult life. This is probably still the result of a medical system that is largely based on the male body and men’s health, and far too little on that of women.
And perhaps that’s the crux of the matter: that the first truly good book about our hormonal lives has yet to be written. A book that doesn’t dismiss, doesn’t downplay, and doesn’t tell us to “stop making a fuss.” A book that takes women seriously, from eleven-year-old girls to women approaching sixty. Until then, we’ll continue to share our stories, out loud and without shame. Because the more we talk, the less taboo remains.
And believe me, ladies: it won’t just get better—it’ll finally become ours.
