The first joint I smoked was when I was invited to a neighborhood party at the time, where we ate mussels together. I – was already used to cigarettes – smoked the joint almost entirely on my own. And I should have noticed that everyone was eagerly awaiting the result. Me, who didn’t drink too much beer at any given time, because I’m all too afraid of losing my control, figured out that they must know this.
Well, the result was there too. After fifteen minutes, I sensed from my erogenous zones that I had to toilet for a while. However, I could no longer get up. My legs refused total service. I punched my brother’s elbow and whispered I needed to go to the bathroom. And he said: “Sweety, then you must go , it’s over there!” Pointing a finger to the toilet. Whereupon I ventured that attempt to get up and immediately got off my props. Fortunately, my brother caught me in time. I got quite nauseous and totally spaced out. I was literally freaking. Thought everything was equally comical. The party was a disproportionate success for me, may I tell you?
So my brother picked me up, helped by a girl next door, and we stumbled – after this somewhat embarrassing toilet visit – towards the nearby park. Where they tried to help me above the bushes, I hardly dare say, to get rid of my nausea. But that didn’t really work, though. Eventually, with extraordinary efforts, they got me upstairs at my brother’s house where I was allowed to sleep off my intoxication in one of the children’s bedrooms. Above all, that did not work, either. I was too spaced out and just felt like totally hyper and adrift. So I had to do without a night’s sleep, that night.
Such a start with hallucinogenic drugs – in its own right – is a damn good warning. And I have not ventured into the stuff since then.
Until today. Because since this morning I have been enjoying a thin slice of space cake, which a friend gave to me. Ultimately, I am very curious if I will experience less pain in my lower back (collapsed vertebra) and upper back (scoliosis) while enjoying this piece of cake.
I had already planned to write this post in a sort of crazy state. So that I can read back later, what I am experiencing now anyway, during “spacing”.
But actually it is all not too bad, except that I feel fairly clear at the top of my brain.
For what it is worth: it is a supreme state of clarity or sharpness, which I feel very comfortable with at the moment.
The sun, which is now rising, is one of radiant rays so bright that they appear transparent.
My living room seems bigger and cozier.
My fingers fly over this somewhat surreal looking keyboard.
I seem to be somewhat more aware that my environment is more beautiful and completely unique.
My mood becomes light-hearted, not to say as though I’m in a continuous Hallelujah shout, and I feel free and happy.
All this, while my cat Blinky observes everything safely from a distance and completely sober headed. I then realize that he would shake ‘no’ wisely as I spontaneously burst out in a loud fit of laughter.
People sometimes say that getting high should actually be accompanied by any other person who is still somewhat level-headed. So that you end up in the perfect flow – through coaching. Right now I don’t feel the need for that, but then, this is good weed. On the other hand, I think it would be great to upgrade myself to the perfect weed coach. And look directly thru Google to see if that job already has a right to exist. After which I ended up laughing as though I was in a perfect fit again.
And I realize once more, suddenly, that this experience should give me the feeling that smoking cannabis, just for myself, makes it a bit more trivial. Although I secretly realize that this shouldn’t be the intention. But then again…
